Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My Conversation with 24 Hour Fitness

Jessica: Hi! I'm a live 24 Hour Fitness representative. What questions about our services can I answer for you today?
You: hi jessica, i noticed you have a 2 year plan for 399.99
You: do you have a 199 for one year?
Jessica: I'm afraid we do not have that rate. The price for the One Year All Club Sport is $349.99 and the One Year One Club Sport is $299.99.
You: ok
Jessica: Once you sign up for ANY membership, that will already include the classes and the full access of amenities. This will also include a 50 minutes complimentary fitness orientation appointment with one of the personal trainer.
Jessica: How does that sound to you?
Jessica: How are things coming along?
Jessica: Are you still with me?
You: yes
You: that sounds horrible, and expensive.
You: so i get a 50 minute complimentary fitness orientation so that someone can tell me i'm fat?
You: i don't need anyone to tell me this. I know this, and that's why i'm trying to get a gym membership.
You: but not for 299 for 1 year.
You: Do you think I can get a 1 year membership for cheaper at Gold's Gym? I hear they have nice facilities.
You: Are you still with me Jessica?
You: Hello!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!???!!?!?!!??!?!?!!?!?
Jessica: I apologize but the prices we have are already fixed.
You: that does not answer my questions at all. Did you even read my questions? These are serious questions that I need answered prior to joining your club.
You: Jessica, what Gym do you go to?
You: Do you go to 24 Hour, or Gold's? My friend said that Gold's is way nicer, but I have my doubts. My friend isn't very trustworthy.
Jessica: This is 24 Hour FItness. You may contact Gold's gym for the prices since we do not have access to that.
You: Yes, I understand this is 24 Hour Fitness, but I was asking if YOU thought I could get a better deal at Gold's.
Jessica: We do not have access to that.
You: Personally, do you think 24 Hour Fitness has the best rates? Do you think my friend is telling the truth? He's like 5'5 450lbs so I'm not sure if I should be taking gym advice on gyms.
You: I know, but if you had to guess...
You: Like if you HAD to answer the question "Who has better rates, Gold's or 24 Hour Fitness" and you had to guess the best answer...what would your answer be?
You: It sounds like you are avoiding my questions. Giving me the razzle dazzle.
Jessica: Once you sign up for ANY membership, that will already include the classes and the full access of amenities. This will also include a 50 minutes complimentary fitness orientation appointment with one of the personal trainer.
You: What. are. you. talking. about?
You: Our conversation is giving me a stomach ache...I'm going to go drop a load now. Have a great day! :)

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